10. Approach the Lufthansa desk clerks and say, “How do you say the word ‘bomb’ in German?”
- Scavenge for power outlets that actually have power. I swear, first, they are virtually non-existent. Second, there are actually lots of little signs for “power” (a little picture of a plug outlet), but I’ll be darned if the little arrow pointing down isn’t just as cryptic. Honestly, on half of the little signs that I stopped at, there either WAS no outlet, or it didn’t actually have “live” power.
- Sit down next to napping other passengers and stare at them until they wake up, startled and bewildered. Then say, “wow, it’s a good thing you woke up. I was getting ready to smack the giant spider that had perched on your nose!”
- Try to think of all the words that rhyme with “
- Wonder why the Lufthansa lady desk clerks have to wear the traditional German bodice, skirt and poofy shirt ensemble, while the men just get to wear suits. It’s a shame, really… I was hoping for green lederhosen and lots of yodling whenever I asked a question.
- Plan out a scheme for micro-enterprise world-domination using only items that can be found in the Duty-Free shop.
- Make the conversion from dollars to Euro on a dozen items at the duty free shop… then take an anti-depressant.
- Find a park bench to sleep on that is grossly obvious and probably in someone’s way. When airport security guys try to wake me, I’m going to go all Jason Borne on them and see if I can end up car-jacking a BMW Mini-Cooper in a cool car chase through the city before my flight leaves.
- Convert all the measurements to metric. Then assign each number a letter value in the alphabet. Arrange the letters into meaningful but highly cryptic words about the date of the Second Coming. Paint a masterpiece with the words discretely hidden inside the brush-strokes. Wait 400 years (which is only slightly less time than the layover feels), sign a book and movie deal. Retire to somewhere OTHER than
- Think up “top 10 things to do with a 5 hour layover in
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