A Lesson in Proto-Asian, by Dr. Persephone Magruder

We often swear that what comes out of Peri's mouth sounds more Asian than English, and given that we believe that she and her brother are child prodigies anyway, we are convinced that she has secretly intuited some form of the proto-Asian languages that spawned all modern day languages. Below is a sampling of the sorts of things she says regularly.

Wa yu punon? (lit. "What did you put on?"): What are we going to view tonight?
Wa satsay? (lit. "What's that say?"): Can you please read that for me?
Wan na wacha mumee? (lit. "Want to watch a movie?"): Would you like to view a motion picture with me?
Bok chu hai! (lit. "!!!!"): We have no idea what this means, but it is often uttered as an exclamation of some sort.
deh dee (masculine) (lit. daddy): "Do you understand?" (this phrase is most often uttered universally at the end of a phrase, such as, "Wa yu punon, deh dee?")
mah mee (feminine) (lit. mommy): "Do you understand?" (ibid)
Aisha hidme! (lit. "Elijah hit me!"): "I am wounded!"
Ai gan! (lit. "I can't"): "I am currently unable to comply with your request, honorable parents!"
Ai gan go seep! (lit. "I can't go to sleep"): "I am not drowsy, thank you, honorable parents!"
Ai gan ay dow! (lit. "I can't lay down"): "I am currently unable to motivate myself to lay horizontally, honorable parents!"
Ai sidon wap (lit. "I sit on lap"): "I would enjoy reclining on your abdomen while punching your groin with my heels and digging my elbows into your sternum."
Is aik a bawun! (lit. "It's like a balloon!): "This kabob is quite tasty, and fun to hold at the same time."